ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: LAKERS VS. TRAILBLAZERS)

GAME ONE / TRAILBLAZERS 100 @ LAKERS 93 Mike EllisI want to start by talking about Skip Bayless. Throughout this whole restart and playoffs, Skip has come for Damian Lillard. He’s been on Dame’s jock like his name is Russell Westbrook or Pat Bev, and, well, we’ve seen how Dame’s responded. So, before game one, Skip does what Skip does and tweeted out “Lakers in four,” or some...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: MAVERICKS VS. CLIPPERS)

GAME ONE / MAVERICKS 110 @ CLIPPERS 118 Jericho Vilar This game, nay, this series is going to showcase two of this year’s playoffs’ most important trends: hero ball and referee influencing. Concerning the Dallas side of things, the latter directly led to the activation of the former. The hero ball narrative came in the form of Maverick wonderboy Luka Doncic’s record setting postseason...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: HEAT VS. PACERS)

GAME ONE / HEAT 113 @ PACERS 101 Mike Ellis On a day when the namesake of the very TJ Warren-like stat sheet had a very TJ Warren-like 22 on 50% shooting, he was out Teej’d by two Miami lads noticeably not named TJ. That would be the South Beach duo of Jimmy Butler and Goran Dragic (who had 14 of his 24 points in the final quarter of the game). The man they call Buckets lived up to it with 28...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: THUNDER VS. ROCKETS)

GAME ONE / THUNDER 108 @ ROCKETS 123 Mike Ellis From the very get go, James Harden was playing with his food, man. In his first few touches, he goaded OKC to dumbly foul him beyond the perimeter, drove to the tin with ease, but then dared the old ball club: “fuck you, stop me,” and dribbled out the arc and with time melting down, coolly blasted a step-back three, just because he could....

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: JAZZ VS. NUGGETS)

GAME ONE / JAZZ 125 @ NUGGETS 135 This is an image from an earlier game, but the "what the fuck else I gotta do?" energy was so strong here. Mike EllisThe NBA’s seed has been spread, and now it’s playoff basketball! An exhaustive process where bottom feeders get up to seven games to pester championship contenders. I kid, mostly, and this series should be anything but. These teams have...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: 76ERS VS. CELTICS)

GAME ONE / 76ERS 101 @ CELTICS 109 Mike EllisSo convinced am I that the Celtics are going to send the Sixers home expeditiously, I’m gonna talk my shit. The Sixers are the Melo Knicks. But with like two Melos, which is somehow worse? Imagine your future riding on Knicks-era Carmelo Anthony learning to play with… Carmelo Anthony. And it’s looking like they may just end up just the Knicks,...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: MAGIC VS. BUCKS)

GAME ONE / MAGIC 122 @ BUCKS 110 Mike EllisOhhhhhhh boy. #MagicMissile is back, baby! Listen, I know this means nothing. I know the Magic have a history of looking like goddamn Ultraman in game ones, then their chests begin to blink out before the start of game two, and the first seed beats their ass. Just let me have this one. Markelle Fultz,—Orlando’s shiny new Penny got the start—well...

ABABGC VS. THE PLAYOFFS (ROUND 1: NETS VS. RAPTORS)

GAME ONE / NETS 110 @ RAPTORS 134 Mike EllisI gotta say, the way that the Nets went roaring through the Restart, I nearly started to care about this team. Nearly. They held a 5-3 clip during the seeding games which is better than a lot of your problematic faves (Bucks, Lakers, Sixers, Rockets, etc.), which is commendable for a misfit squad of Cheese, The Parrot, Caris, a Joe, a Jarrett and...

ALL BALL ALL BALL GROUP CHAT #3

NBA Restart Week Three (8/9 - 8/15) Wizards 103 @ Thunder 121 (8/9/20) Jericho Vilar There needs to be a mercy rule / CDC mandate for these seeding games. Having already gone winless in the bubble and (unsurprisingly) eliminated from the playoffs (since April if you ask me) were how the Wizards walked into tonight’s game. Mind you, all that was BEFORE they got rocked by the Thunder. Just get...

ALL BALL ALL BALL GROUP CHAT #2

NBA Restart Week Two (8/2 - 8/8) Wizards 110 @ Nets 118 (8/2) Mike Ellis Rui realized giving the Wizards 20 is misspent youth and accordingly gave them nine instead. #freeRui Jericho Vilar Folly of youth, dawg. #FREERUI Mike Bubble Math: The Magic—who are the seventh seed—had the Nets by 30 at one point and the Nets—the eighth seed—beat the Wizards of purgatory—the ninth seed—by...