On 9/15/19, the following was submitted to the acclaimed literary humor site, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. On 9/20/19, a gracious and empathetic rejection email (personally written / non-boilerplate) was sent back in response, providing even further evidence why McSweeney’s is fucking awesome.
In honor of my little girl just recently starting first grade, I proudly present a list of all the weirdest things that happened last year in kindergarten during the wild, magical and mysteriously strange time known as the morning drop-off.
As I write this I have four tabs open; each representing the different avenues of research that I needed to write this piece. I seem to be incapable of reading a full article in its entirety before the insatiable urge comes to switch to another. The irony certainly hasn’t been lost on me.
As you read this right now, you are reading my current thoughts in the future (relative to my time). I don’t know who you are but I do know that you are here, with me, locked away in this cell of writing separated only by time and distance. I wonder if you are a writer too?
BREAKING: I’m a nerd.
I know. To many of my friends and family that admission will come as a total shock, but there it is. And, the horrible truth of it is, I’ve always been a nerd. Heaven help my sons, let us all hope they take after their mother.
Being a colossal nerd I’ve been into colossally nerdy things, often well before being a nerd about said things was cool (See: comic books, role playing games, wearing glasses). Among those nerdy things I got into was gaming. And not video games, oh no, that’s too cool for Young Jason.
No, Young Jason was into tabletop gaming involving chits and hexmaps (Avalon Hill games), robot figures dueling a millennium into the future (Battletech), and, once the genre existed, trading card games like Magic: The Gathering (which pushed out my other nerdy pursuit at the time – baseball cards).
Of course, my nerdery didn’t end with playing these games. No, see, I was going to be the guy that invented the Next Great Thing in gaming. There are scraps of assorted ideas and games lying all over the place, but one I still happen to have in a dusty box on a shelf with a bunch of other games is my aborted attempt at creating my very own trading card game based on the comic book universe based on the heroic adventures of the incredibly originally named Jason Tenney and his amazing friend…s. Friends.Read More »Because I Never Throw Anything Away I Can Share With You The Crappy Card Game I Made 24 Years Ago
He’s been around a while, long before I stumbled upon him. He’s out there and has been out there doing his thing, making his bones, sowing the seeds of his legend and generally not giving even an ounce of a shit whether anyone notices or not.
His name is Shea Serrano.
Your new Internet Tio.
I never got Twitter. Or Instagram or Tumblr or Facebook or Snapchat or MySpace or pretty much all of social media. For a second in high school, I thought I had a pretty good grasp of Livejournal but that came and went pretty quickly.
So, what is it exactly about Twitter that I don’t get you ask?
WWIC as a question is the foundation of townhall meetings that invite public discourse on community topics. Only now the Internet exists as a virtual townhall for the entire world on every topic big and small.
A little late with the 2018 introspection considering it’s already day two of 2019 but I’m killing time late at night (or early in the morning) while kiddo #2 is passed out on my shoulder. Which is one of the best moments to have, warm lump content with the world snuggled in and all. This time next year we probably won’t have these moments anymore, certainly not as often.Read More »On Fatherhood