Already entrenched as my favorite album of the year, the aspect of “All My Heroes Are Cornballs” that entranced me the most is it’s being the complete opposite of timeless. This collection of songs is quintessentially of the moment, a 2019 record through and through.
On 9/15/19, the following was submitted to the acclaimed literary humor site, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. On 9/20/19, a gracious and empathetic rejection email (personally written / non-boilerplate) was sent back in response, providing even further evidence why McSweeney’s is fucking awesome.
In honor of my little girl just recently starting first grade, I proudly present a list of all the weirdest things that happened last year in kindergarten during the wild, magical and mysteriously strange time known as the morning drop-off.
As I write this I have four tabs open; each representing the different avenues of research that I needed to write this piece. I seem to be incapable of reading a full article in its entirety before the insatiable urge comes to switch to another. The irony certainly hasn’t been lost on me.
Despite all of the major shifts in the power structure of the league brought on by this offseason’s free agency period, nothing comes anywhere even remotely close to the anticipation of breaking news from the Twitter feed of the man now commonly known as “Woj.”
As you read this right now, you are reading my current thoughts in the future (relative to my time). I don’t know who you are but I do know that you are here, with me, locked away in this cell of writing separated only by time and distance. I wonder if you are a writer too?