JPEGMAFIA “ALL MY HEROES ARE CORNBALLS”

Already entrenched as my favorite album of the year, the aspect of “All My Heroes Are Cornballs” that entranced me the most is it’s being the complete opposite of timeless. This collection of songs is quintessentially of the moment, a 2019 record through and through.

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Me & McSweeney’s Down by the Schoolyard

On 9/15/19, the following was submitted to the acclaimed literary humor site, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. On 9/20/19, a gracious and empathetic rejection email (personally written / non-boilerplate) was sent back in response, providing even further evidence why McSweeney’s is fucking awesome.

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An Addiction to Writing Distraction

As I write this I have four tabs open; each representing the different avenues of research that I needed to write this piece. I seem to be incapable of reading a full article in its entirety before the insatiable urge comes to switch to another. The irony certainly hasn’t been lost on me.

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Woj Bomb

Despite all of the major shifts in the power structure of the league brought on by this offseason’s free agency period, nothing comes anywhere even remotely close to the anticipation of breaking news from the Twitter feed of the man now commonly known as “Woj.”

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Because I Never Throw Anything Away I Can Share With You The Crappy Card Game I Made 24 Years Ago

BREAKING: I’m a nerd.

I know. To many of my friends and family that admission will come as a total shock, but there it is. And, the horrible truth of it is, I’ve always been a nerd. Heaven help my sons, let us all hope they take after their mother.

Being a colossal nerd I’ve been into colossally nerdy things, often well before being a nerd about said things was cool (See: comic books, role playing games, wearing glasses). Among those nerdy things I got into was gaming. And not video games, oh no, that’s too cool for Young Jason.

No, Young Jason was into tabletop gaming involving chits and hexmaps (Avalon Hill games), robot figures dueling a millennium into the future (Battletech), and, once the genre existed, trading card games like Magic: The Gathering (which pushed out my other nerdy pursuit at the time – baseball cards).

Of course, my nerdery didn’t end with playing these games. No, see, I was going to be the guy that invented the Next Great Thing in gaming. There are scraps of assorted ideas and games lying all over the place, but one I still happen to have in a dusty box on a shelf with a bunch of other games is my aborted attempt at creating my very own trading card game based on the comic book universe based on the heroic adventures of the incredibly originally named Jason Tenney and his amazing friend…s. Friends.

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The Legend of Internet Tio

He’s been around a while, long before I stumbled upon him. He’s out there and has been out there doing his thing, making his bones, sowing the seeds of his legend and generally not giving even an ounce of a shit whether anyone notices or not.

His name is Shea Serrano.

Your new Internet Tio.

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